Category Archives: Realspeak

No Need To Be Subtle, Begging Works: “Clients Want Offer”

Whether it’s an “extremely motivated client”, or an extremely motivated agent, it’s the new age of real estate marketing…begging…and in San Francisco it’s here to stay.

It’s about time we quit being subtle and get to the point.

-367 31st Ave, 3 bedroom, $1,195,000 [property website]
-13 Ways To Say The Same Thing: Bring Me An Offer []

A “Villa” At Ocean Beach? Tisk Tisk. But A Pizza Place On Noriega…Brilliant!

The email to our office read, “Stunning Ocean Beach Villa”, and a link to 2006 47th Ave was included. We were expecting…well….a surprise, you know…a “villa”. Instead, we got your typical Outer Parkside “gem”.


We’re gonna go out on a limb and say that when 99% of Outer Parkside home buyers (and their Realtors) are shopping for homes at or near Ocean Beach, they’re not looking for “villas”. Maybe “Junior 5s” or “Center Patios”, but “villas”? Seems like a little bit of…shall we say…interesting marketing.

But a Pizza Place On Noriega? Now that’s marketing…it’s a pizza place…on Noriega. Genius!

(Yes, the Pizza Place is nearby this listing.)

-2006 47th Ave, Outer Parkside, $849,000.

The Fun Continues: “It Need Renovated”


REO. Price Reduce from $399,900 Contractor special. It need renovated. Nice and Quite, one bedroom one bath on the ground floor,installed security system [as opposed to….?]. SOLD AS IS condition. Pre-qaulify loan letter from Wells Fargo Bank. HOA including the earthquake insurance.

Sometimes it’s just fun to poke fun isn’t it?

There is a story here though. Last sale January 2006 for $410,000, in contract today around $299,900.

-1348 Scott #B [MLS]

RealSpeak Gone Really Wrong, 1581 Masonic Waxes Poetic

‘Tis the week of reader submissions and questions, and we love them! Keep ‘em coming (

From a reader:

Thanks much for the fortnightly dose of sfnewsletter. The West Portal data, in particular, was very helpful, since we rent in neighboring Forest Hills Ext. Gives us some hope…


Going through the New Homes listings, I was curious to see what 1581 Masonic, listed at $3.3M, looked like, and was quite amused with its description…

Architectural detail engages a space that its very purpose defines & masters it wholly. Drawing upon natural elements surrounding the property, the design calculates the position of light, hill, tree & view with ardent charisma, capitalizing the opportunity for function to parallel form. Windows exhibit what lies beyond their frames; finishes honor what dwells inside & out; passages deliver not only a destination, but what lies perhaps miles away; rooms elicit romantic ideas & beg for a pause.


What the hell is that crap!?

Dear, The Dead Poets Society Blog, Can you post this listing for us?

Seriously, we got nothing against our fellow agents, well maybe some, but that is just too far out in right field. Let’s bring it back home and sell some real estate, shall we?

“Ardent Charisma”…

-1581 Masonic [MLS]
-sfnewsletter [Real Estate market reports and comps sent weekly (almost)]

“This Is The One”, 565 Clipper Gets Into Contract

Right on the heels of our recent post a la Sophie, “A walk up the hill”, we learn that one of the little nugs she reported on went into contract as of yesterday, 565 Clipper being that little 4 bed, 3.5 bath, $2,149,000 single family nug (originally listed 10/08 for $2,599,000):

The deets, with a little RealSpeak for good measure:

Breathtaking, recently rebuilt home w/ hi ceilings & dramatic dark walnut floors. Enormous living room w/ FP & city vus. Top shelf kit w/ 6-burner Viking & CesarStone + huge bfast bar. Dramatic DR is surrounded by windows & adjacent outdoor living space. 3BD/2BA upper level includes a luxurious master suite w/ FP & vu deck + an add’l south facing deck adjacent to 3rd BD overlooking the garden.Ground level has huge family/media room w/ wet bar + 4th BD, full BA & 2 car sxs gar. This is the one!


It “is the one” for someone, and is a good comparable for 469 Clipper (future version), which just so happens to still be available.

So what gives? Bad market, busy street, nothing but doom on the horizon, yet somebody pulled the trigger on a $2+Million property on Clipper? Let’s hope it closes.

Stay tuned for reports of multiple offers on multiple properties. No kidding.

[Update: Closed escrow for $2,090,000.]