To think, I didn’t even have to pay these guys to do this. Must be the high altitude and thin air at Alta Ski Area making these jokesters think like Top Producers: Sometimes we all feel like this in this crazy real estate market. Follow up…they found The Goods (albeit a bit dirty and not … Continue reading Going Up theFrontSteps | #BigAl
Tag: humor
$302,000 Worth Of Furniture Comes With This House…Sort Of
Originally listed for sale in the Fall of 2012 for $1,850,000, price chopped, relisted a mere 11 days ago, now asking $1,798,000, this property apparently has an “expansive, unobstructed view of the City and the bay”, but that’s not all. From the “agent only” remarks we occasionally can’t help but to share with you. It’s … Continue reading $302,000 Worth Of Furniture Comes With This House…Sort Of
Real Estate Oscars: Best Actor/Cinematography
If you have a property video you’d like to share with our readers, please send it to [email protected]. We’d be happy to share in the, um, spotlight…. -1378 Rhode Island (Property Video/website)
Wishing You A Merry Christmas And Happy New Year (Chopper Style)
Thank you for being such a great and captive group of readers. I (alex, the editor) appreciate it, and enjoy bringing all of this stuff to you. Keep telling your friends and keep the comments coming! Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, and Happy Fu*king New Year! See you in 2010 and make sure to check out … Continue reading Wishing You A Merry Christmas And Happy New Year (Chopper Style)
13 Ways To Say The Same Thing…”Bring Me An Offer!”
Given the recent amount of junk Realtor mail flooding our inbox, we thought it high time to see how many different ways Realtors can slice the same pie. Awards should be given, but we’ll save those for our Sexiest Realtor Contest which will begin in earnest next week (lots of pretty faces out there!). So … Continue reading 13 Ways To Say The Same Thing…”Bring Me An Offer!”
Strippers Wanted For “Entertaining” Prospective Clients
Oh this is good. Do you want to be an “entertainer”, get people wasted, and take their money? Well, you’re in luck. You don’t have to be a stripper to land this job. You can be a Realtor’s assistant! From the Craigslist Ad: Models Wanted for Happy Hour Events Date: 2009-11-16, 9:00AM We are looking … Continue reading Strippers Wanted For “Entertaining” Prospective Clients
What’s That Saying? Either _____ Or Sell The Pot?
Apparently Mr. Kirkpatrick has failed repeatedly to remove his Open House signs, so our reader sent us this picture in an effort to light a fire under his a$$ (no pun intended). We’d be willing to bet it works. [Update: One day later, we’re told the signs are gone. Funny how that works…]
Pssst…Can You Step A Little To Your Right?
You gotta have faith, and a good photographer to get just the right light and angle when capturing the essence of a property to help it sell. Good marketing remarks help too: “View of neighbor”: Let’s hope he’s not the neighbor, cuz that’s getting a bit too close. –140 Faith, $760,500
Things We Love About Real Estate: The Realtor Voicemail
Is it just us, or do Realtors always feel they have to let the world know they wouldn’t for a second think about doing anything but working? Case in point, the Realtor voicemail. Try this for fun. Pick a Realtor, any Realtor (preferably a “top producer”…such a bogus title, but we won’t go there), and … Continue reading Things We Love About Real Estate: The Realtor Voicemail
It’s Not Any White Out, It’s Premier
From a reader: For the “premier [Luxury] real estate office in the City”, white out on the elevator button is a bit ghetto…. I’m just saying. ’nuff said….thanks for the laugh!
Real Estate Agents…Spare Us The Mugshot
Zillow provides us with raw data to back up the fact that your image does nothing to sell you, or the home. But it does make for a damn good Sexiest Realtor contest. From Zillow’s Blog: Zillow makes money by selling ads on the site. But, to be a successful media company, we need to … Continue reading Real Estate Agents…Spare Us The Mugshot
In Real Estate, Size Does Matter
We have been a bit M.I.A, but our readers certainly haven’t lost their need to send us tips. Please keep them coming! ([email protected]): I think the size of a dwelling is an important matter, especially in San Francisco. Would you start a thread? [We can try.] ‘I know my home is too small when ….’ … Continue reading In Real Estate, Size Does Matter
The Actual Retail Price Is….!
“I’d like to bid $1, Bob”….crowd goes wild, contestant jumps around uncontrollably, Bob Barker raises pencil thin mic to his mouth, opens envelope turning to contestants with gray haired enthusiasm proclaiming, “The actual retail price for these lovely San Francisco multi-family buildings is…..” Ding, ding, ding, ding! Go ahead, make your bid, just don’t go … Continue reading The Actual Retail Price Is….!
Video Friday: In Honor Of Our French And Australian Readers
Something funny to take you into the weekend
Parking Love Letters, San Francisco Style & The Red DPT Curb
Judging by the hand-writing, we’d say the author of this love letter was female, approximately 38-45 years old (not a Cougar), mother of….we’ll say two, likely drives a Volvo or Mercedes “SUV”, we’re thinking blond hair, light colored eyes, ponytail, and definitely not the life of the party. You? Happy Friday…somebody needs a f*cking cocktail! … Continue reading Parking Love Letters, San Francisco Style & The Red DPT Curb
Deciphering San Francisco Real Estate, An Expert Weighs In
Turn the volume way up, so everyone in your office/house knows what’s going on with our market, and you don’t have to explain over and over (like us).