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Things We Love About Real Estate: The Realtor Voicemail

Is it just us, or do Realtors always feel they have to let the world know they wouldn’t for a second think about doing anything but working? Case in point, the Realtor voicemail.

Try this for fun. Pick a Realtor, any Realtor (preferably a “top producer”…such a bogus title, but we won’t go there), and call their voicemail. Chances are really good you’ll hear something like this:

“Hi, this is so and so, and it’s Wednesday morning at 9:00 a.m., I’ll be in and out of the office on appointments all day and checking voicemail periodically.”
Translation: My tee time is at 9:30, so I’ll get back to you in about 5 hours after my 18 holes.

Here’s another:
“Hi, this is so and so and you’ve reached my voicemail. I’m either on the phone or out with clients, so please leave a message and I’ll get back to you as soon as possible.”
Translation: I never go to the office, and I’m guaranteed to not be on the phone, but if I tell myself and you that I’m on the phone it makes me sound and feel busier, and I’m really not out with clients in my car in the age of the internet, I just wish I was. I think I’ll get a pedicure today.

One more:
“Hi, this is so and so, top producer 1999,2000, 2002-2009. For more information about my listings please check my website at If you’ve reached my voicemail I’m either on the phone or out with one of my many clients touring property, but I’m never too busy for you and your referrals. Please leave a message and I’ll get back to you as soon as possible.”
Translation: Leave a message, and then read more about me and my awesomeness at, because I love stroking my ego. Not enough info there? Look for me plastered all over the shopping carts at your local supermarket. Aren’t my teeth so shiny and white? Never mind that my picture is 25 years old, I still got it! And how cute are my dogs!?

We just don’t get it. Do you?



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14 thoughts on “Things We Love About Real Estate: The Realtor Voicemail”

  • sometech

    October 15, 2009 at 8:00 am

    Do the dogs have spots???

  • Henry

    October 15, 2009 at 9:42 am

    You forgot everyone’s need to add what a great day it is and how happy they are.

    So what do you suggest? How about “Hi, please leave a message.” Works for me.

    So many Realtors are technologically behind the curve. I’m sure many believe voice mail is cutting edge communication.

  • Mike

    October 15, 2009 at 9:51 am

    Thanks Alex now I gotta go change my shirt because my morning coffee was spit out all over it lol… This is so true and I love it

    “Translation: My tee time is at 9:30, so I’ll get back to you in about 5 hours after my 18 holes.” HAHAHA

  • thefrontsteps

    October 15, 2009 at 3:56 pm



    you’re right! I love the “make it a wonderful day” bull sh*t. Duh! Like we all set out to make it a sh*tty day!

    That would be the translation for my voicemail. 😉

  • james

    October 15, 2009 at 6:44 pm

    you could say the same thing for technology sales people. same voicemail, same tee times, pedicures, the works…

    • thefrontsteps

      October 16, 2009 at 7:51 am

      @ James,
      Really? They do the same. Daily updates of their whereabouts? Ahhhh, but do they plaster their 25 year old photo all over their biz cards and marketing?

  • Financial Samurai

    October 17, 2009 at 11:18 pm

    It’s all one big scam! 🙂

    Sorry guys, but don’t bother contacting me unless you are a “top producer” haha.

  • peter clark top producer

    October 21, 2009 at 5:13 am

    Since that is how my vmail sounds, I find this only slightly amusing.

    [Editor’s Note: Yes, this is my brother. He is only slightly more sarcastic than me.]

  • Don Davenport

    October 25, 2009 at 11:42 am

    What’s even worse are the newbie agents who try to substitute blogging for working…ooops. Or surfing instead of blogging instead of working.Truth is -if you are an agent in the business less than 10 years-you dont know how to work in this business-youve never learned sales skills because the market was so damned easy. Judge not.
    Have a nice day.

    • thefrontsteps

      October 25, 2009 at 3:02 pm


      That’s a good one. Some of us “newbie” agents have more business than we know what to do with from blogging, but simply choose not to froth it all down, because frankly surfing is a helluva lot more fun than dealing with pricks like you all day.

      Have a nice day.

  • Don Davenport

    October 26, 2009 at 1:18 pm

    Whats wrong-can dish it out but cant take it?
    Ive seen your numbers-not so good…keep working hard and you will improve.

    • thefrontsteps

      October 27, 2009 at 7:04 am

      “simply choose not to froth it all down” Read that quote again, then you’ll understand.

  • Shelley Propernick

    January 25, 2017 at 1:25 pm

    Love the comedy of voicemail messages you have. Why do we need to tell everyone we are top producers and our whereabouts? Best part of this is that you should be answering your phone if you do any business so they don’t have to leave a voicemail. 🙂

    • thefrontsteps

      February 3, 2017 at 8:34 am

      Amen to that….


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