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13 Ways To Say The Same Thing…”Bring Me An Offer!”

Given the recent amount of junk Realtor mail flooding our inbox, we thought it high time to see how many different ways Realtors can slice the same pie. Awards should be given, but we’ll save those for our Sexiest Realtor Contest which will begin in earnest next week (lots of pretty faces out there!).

So here is what happens. One week, we get an email that says in the subject, “Prime Noe Valley Victorian”, the next it says, “Best location Noe Valley Home”, the next it says, “Coveted Noe Valley Single Family Home”, we click on the email to open it… Alas! They’re all the same home!

The best is when we get the emails doing the same thing with the subject to trick you into clicking, but also changing the way they say “bring me a f*cking offer, I have a desperate seller here!” How many ways can YOU say the same thing?

We’ll try first:

1. Motivated Seller (As opposed to the un-motivated seller that lists his home during holidays and a global recession.)
2. Seller must sell (and agent needs the commish.)
3. Price negotiable (Aren’t all prices negotiable?)
4. Price reduced (Thatta girl! Keep it going.)
5. Bring offers (We’ll bring the punch.)
6. Amazing Tax benefits! (Ahhh…the tax advice from a Realtor.)
7. All offers welcome (Can I buy you a drink?)
8. Holiday discount! (We’re feeling it. Look under the tree son…we just bought you a house.)
9. End of year price reduction won’t last (Meaning the price will go up in January?)
10. New Reduced Price! (So is that a new price? A one time price reduction, or a new price reduction different from any previous reductions?)
11. Amazing New Price! (Different than the Amazing Original List Price.)
12. Last chance price! (Who’s chance?)
13. Lucky 13….Sellers Facing Foreclosure (which is kind of stupid, because any offers at that point will be lowballs, likely end up being below what the seller’s owe, and turn into a short sale or foreclosure anyway, but that’s a tangent and a totally different subject.)

We’re sure there are more ways to skin that, “I need to sell this bloody listing” cat, but that is just a sampling of what we see on a daily basis.

Carry on…and feel free to share your favorites in the comments below.



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5 thoughts on “13 Ways To Say The Same Thing…”Bring Me An Offer!””

  • eddy

    December 3, 2009 at 4:17 pm

    Hurry, sellers taking off market soon!

  • Claudia Gonella

    December 5, 2009 at 11:21 am

    Then there’s the incentives and discounts from sellers. We look at the second home market in Central America and have seen: “House comes with a surfboard” “If you buy we’ll pay your airfare” “20% off the first 3 properties to sell” and so on..

  • Don DeFranco

    December 5, 2009 at 1:25 pm

    My favorite ones are the listings that post in all CAPS….”HURRY-WON’T LAST! and are still on the market for 6 months! C’mon! It’s not that hard to update your listings!

    A clever realtor used the headline the other day-“Motivated Agent!” which I thought was great.

  • anna

    December 6, 2009 at 5:36 pm

    where does that phrase, skin the cat, come from. it frightens.

  • Jeff

    December 10, 2009 at 5:02 pm

    My fave-“Owner will consider all reasonable offers”–Reasonable to whom?


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