theFrontSteps – San Francisco

Real Estate, Insight, Statistics, Gossip, & News…With a Twist and Some Flavor

Entries Tagged ‘humor’

$302,000 Worth Of Furniture Comes With This House…Sort Of

Originally listed for sale in the Fall of 2012 for $1,850,000, price chopped, relisted a mere 11 days ago, now asking $1,798,000, this property apparently has an “expansive, unobstructed view of the City and the bay”, but that’s not all. From the “agent only” remarks we occasionally can’t help but to share with you. It’s [...]

Real Estate Oscars: Best Actor/Cinematography

If you have a property video you’d like to share with our readers, please send it to theFrontSteps@gmail.com. We’d be happy to share in the, um, spotlight…. -1378 Rhode Island (Property Video/website)

Wishing You A Merry Christmas And Happy New Year (Chopper Style)

Thank you for being such a great and captive group of readers. I (alex, the editor) appreciate it, and enjoy bringing all of this stuff to you. Keep telling your friends and keep the comments coming! Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, and Happy Fu*king New Year! See you in 2010 and make sure to check out [...]

13 Ways To Say The Same Thing…”Bring Me An Offer!”

Given the recent amount of junk Realtor mail flooding our inbox, we thought it high time to see how many different ways Realtors can slice the same pie. Awards should be given, but we’ll save those for our Sexiest Realtor Contest which will begin in earnest next week (lots of pretty faces out there!). So [...]

Strippers Wanted For “Entertaining” Prospective Clients

Oh this is good. Do you want to be an “entertainer”, get people wasted, and take their money? Well, you’re in luck. You don’t have to be a stripper to land this job. You can be a Realtor’s assistant! From the Craigslist Ad: Models Wanted for Happy Hour Events Date: 2009-11-16, 9:00AM We are looking [...]

What’s That Saying? Either _____ Or Sell The Pot?

Apparently Mr. Kirkpatrick has failed repeatedly to remove his Open House signs, so our reader sent us this picture in an effort to light a fire under his a$$ (no pun intended). We’d be willing to bet it works. [Update: One day later, we're told the signs are gone. Funny how that works...]

Pssst…Can You Step A Little To Your Right?

You gotta have faith, and a good photographer to get just the right light and angle when capturing the essence of a property to help it sell. Good marketing remarks help too: “View of neighbor”: Let’s hope he’s not the neighbor, cuz that’s getting a bit too close. -140 Faith, $760,500

Things We Love About Real Estate: The Realtor Voicemail

Is it just us, or do Realtors always feel they have to let the world know they wouldn’t for a second think about doing anything but working? Case in point, the Realtor voicemail. Try this for fun. Pick a Realtor, any Realtor (preferably a “top producer”…such a bogus title, but we won’t go there), and [...]

It’s Not Any White Out, It’s Premier

From a reader: For the “premier [Luxury] real estate office in the City”, white out on the elevator button is a bit ghetto…. I’m just saying. ’nuff said….thanks for the laugh!

Real Estate Agents…Spare Us The Mugshot

Zillow provides us with raw data to back up the fact that your image does nothing to sell you, or the home. But it does make for a damn good Sexiest Realtor contest. From Zillow’s Blog: Zillow makes money by selling ads on the site. But, to be a successful media company, we need to [...]