Cyber real estate conversations: some “funny shit”

From a reader:

a true e-mail interaction between 2 SF real estate watchers on 1303 Alabama St:

A:

wanna hear some funny shit? no, not 306 Mullen, but that freaky-eco project on alabama and 25th. st. Be the first to see it this sunday 1-4 (and guess what, u don’t have to pay $25 to be on some pretentious architect tour!)

fyi- it’s north of $900 sq ft, for a tic in the mish!! woohoo!!

M:

$900 per sq. ft? thats fucking funny, really funny.

It was wrong of these assholes to sell tickets then put it on the market. I saw dozens of scared shitless visitors on Sunday filing through the place with nametags “Hi– Rob me”

A:

i agree, a tic [north of] $900 per sq ft. in the mish is funny; makes that silly lorax bldg on 22nd/valencia [3280 22nd St.] seem reasonable! btw, i think the whole bldg is a duplex, so 1 unit sells as a tic. i wonder how much dough they made from that architect-bend-over-take-it-up-the-ass-tour. actually, having a free open house 1 week later is fucking hilarious as well. funny shit!

M:

My partner thinks I’m nuts to have thought of construction and future sale price of 425$/sq. ft.

1 million for TIC of 1200 sq ft.in the fucking hood? This I MUST see.

1303 Alabama St:

1303alabama.jpg

306 Mullen:

302mullen.jpg

3280 22nd St. [look how quickly they sold, and it would be 3 units. ;-) ]:

328022nd.jpg

That is some good shit and a good taste of what goes on. I was hesitant to post as you sent the same “shit” to other sites, but I’m over it, and always down for a good laugh. Thanks for sending in, and feel free to send more.

17 thoughts on “Cyber real estate conversations: some “funny shit””

  1. I believe the buyers of 22nd/Valencia condos were truly robbed. For green condos they were very generic and had low quality workmanship. I missed what part of getting [taken] in RE is funny but maybe I just didn’t get it with that post.

  2. I personally love 306 Mullen. I think it’s really cool. You want to talk about a blogosphere flashpoint, tho. I saw one bubblist call it “A coke dealer house.” They fucking hate it!

    What I don’t understand about Mullen is, why? Why go so far into left field for spec? The cardinal rule for spec is “keep it vanilla.” Unfortunately, it’s true. Look at kitchens. The choices people expect to see are barely post-90s.

    But Mullen. Why inject so much personality into a flip? Or is that not the story? did somebody’s life plan change?

  3. I have not seen Mullen or Alabama. I was, however, one of the first to get in to see 22nd and didn’t write about it as some clients were potentially interested. Now that they aren’t into it (actually haven’t been for a while, but this is resurfacing), I’d have to agree with Randy. Not that I think the buyers were robbed, but they were not that impressive from an optical (meaning what I could see) point of view. On paper, it was impressive. But the lower units were fairly small and having those decks on the north side of the building means very little sunlight. All of which I told my clients, btw. But, the top unit was sweet. Very sweet. I’d take it in a heart beat.

    The funny part of the post was simply the conversation, and I like to post the majority of what “tips” readers provide. I’m easy like that. ;-)

  4. The architect who designed Mullen has other over-the-top homes he has built in Bernal. It seems as if that’s his thing. 306 Mullen is gorgeous but I didn’t like the location. or views I also did not find it to be a practical house. So while I loved it I also can see why someone would call it a coke dealer’s house. On a sidenote, when I saw it the house was filthy, had scuff marks all over the walls and big deep scratches in the floors. The excuse of the realtor was that there was a party the previous night in the house. And that’s an excuse?

    Yes Alex, the top floor of 22nd/Valencia was sweet but only because of the views. Once the reality of living there sets in, window treatments will be needed to have some privacy and hide a lot of the allure of that place. Just my two cents.

  5. I’ve written comments about 306 Mullen also..An an architect, I think its a dismal house, designed only for pure “pornolicious” viewing. (if there is such a word)

    All style, no substance. skinny galley kitchen you cant socialize in. the dining “room” is a dining hallway. pure circulation. no breakfast area. stackable laundry in a closet! not even a fucking laundry room.

    You have to go outside down the stairs (say, in the rain) to go to the so called guest room, or the media room. small awkward bedrooms, small master bedroom and bath. twisty narrow interior stairway..

    Its another boring take on the “Dwell home” look.

  6. i believe the originally coined diss over on socketsite was ‘coke dealer chic’

    ;)

    priceless!

    i got flamed for suggesting it would not fetch 1.5mm and what a joke it was to build and ask for that much in bernal, 2.3mm

    i even went so far as to wager 100.00 it would not get that price

    the [removed] that flamed me for dissing it would not take the bet of course, including the socketside editor

    [Editor’s note: Colorful language is part of life and totally acceptable here in the comments and on the site. However, there are some words that are a little more than I think should be on here. Those being ones I’ve taken out here, and on another comment.]

  7. I agree with most of your critics about the flow of 306 Mullen but disagree that it is even close to being dismal. No need to go outside or get wet. There is an elevator in the house (nothing dismal about that).

  8. On a sidenote, when I saw it the house was filthy, had scuff marks all over the walls and big deep scratches in the floors. The excuse of the realtor was that there was a party the previous night in the house. And that’s an excuse?

    see? the coke dealer was already trying the business vibe of the house he planed to buy!

    —————-

    side note. I heard most neighbors are mad. I’m not sure it’s a good plan to buy a house where you ALREADY alienated your neighbors to be. Sure.. who cares… what about your guests cars towed, scratched.. what about having to clean up 20 dog poops on your steps every morning? etc etc.

    I personaly didnt like it: it looks too much like a certain 70s building I know too well in this city (same everything including 80-90% identical floor plan)

  9. I agree that you should not buy a property where you knowingly are aware that your neighbors will hate you. What neighbor wouldn’t hate that monstrosity on Mullen despite how nice it may or may not be? Taking that logic, no one should have bought the 22nd/Valencia condos given the banner hanging across the way with explictives about how the future neighbors would not be made to feel welcome there.

  10. If you think the Bernal neighbors are mad, get a read at the Sunset idea house that is for sale and all the blogs.

    That builder/owner and architect put a 52′ wind turbine as well as a gas pump in without doing 311′s. According to the vast majority of bloggers who seem to be neighbors, they did NO neighbor outreach .

    The quality of construction is below par, IMHO. How is joe bloe homeowner going to deal with it if the rain catchment system backs up? No plumbers in the city can deal with that becaue it was the first one. And the wind turbine…i hear it was done conditionally and if just one neighbor complains, it’s out. What the hell will someone use the natural/liquid gas tank for? There are no cars on the market that use that resource. And where are the solar panels…who builds “green” without using solar PV????

    I also hear there is/was a war between the contractor/owner and architect which is why it seems as if there are multiple architects. The owner changed all sorts of design elements, colors, etc. and the result is a hodgepodge.

    It seems overly complicated for complicated sake and to fetch a high price tag.

    When someone does buy it, they will be left with neighbors who hate it, bums and druggies outside your door and a mechanical headache.

  11. I guess that’s the best post on Alabama property here?

    From my understanding, the building which was supposed to “fly off the shelf”, which was “sold before showing”, which is stated in many magazines as “SOLD UPON COMPLETION” ….

    … is still for sale.

    Alex? care for some updates on the TIC on Alabama? Are we reaching the stalefish list? any price reduction?

  12. The Alabama street house is so ridiculously out ahead of the price curve that it never even had a chance to sell, IMO.

  13. Wonderful article! Cyber real estate conversations: some “funny shit” | theFrontSteps – San Francisco really makes my life a little bit better :D Keep going with the wonderful articles! Compliments, enjoy

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